I posted a poem or 2 of mine in a_poetry_club and received a few nice comments there, but was told I might receive some more constructive feedback if I posted here. I didn't want to be redundant and post the same things, so here's one I wrote a week or so back. If you hate it feel free to say so, I've gotten pretty much every type of reaction so far so no hurt feelings here. Thanks so much.
That last left turn down your street always felt so right
You'd be waiting there for me
on your porch,
Arms spread almost as wide as your smile.
But not today.
Parking on the side of the road
always so close to the curb but never close enough
I never was close enough.
The house was cold today.
I shut my door
I never wanted to disturb the tranquility
Down your sidewalk, past the birdfeeder
That fucking birdfeeder.
It never looked so lonely before.
At your door
I never waited long enough.
Where were you?
Why is it only I who waits?
Scaling the chipped bricks now
like a pseudo-spiderman
Up to your window.
I never waited for your answer.
That silly little TV meant for a doll house
That comfy little bed that we fit in so well
(like lock and key)
That other boy, curled up in your arms.
I never should have looked.
Falling, back down to the sidewalk.
Breaking, but no bones
Only a heart.
Back in the car.
That first right turn up your street never felt so left.